I have always wanted to be an actor, and some of that includes memorizing lines, but when it was time to memorize the poems’ lines’ I found out that I have no time in my schedule for anything. Practicing for the recitation was so tiring because I stayed up late just to make sure I got every line right on every word, I wanted to get that full mark so bad. Memorizing was a hassle, because when I go to practice again I mess up little words like “no higher than the moon” instead of “no bigger than the moon”. Part of my study habits is if I mess up I redo the whole thing, this took many times to get off the first line. “Right up above the mast did stand” was a line i often forgot, over and over. I didn’t think I needed to actually be reciting a whole poem for English, but I am here. sometimes I just passed out while reading the lines. In class when I saw people presenting before me I got super nervous, because it reminded me about the book speech where I couldn’t get anything out of my mouth, and I suddenly forgot everything, the world was doomed and everyone was staring at me like the smallest thing I did wrong was the biggest mistake, and silently judging me in every little thing. It was not like that, I blurred my eyes and pretended to look at people while focusing on reciting, this made it impossible for me to see any details. I felt like I was too quiet, and I should have been more dramatic, but at the same time I was still and couldn’t bring myself to move at all. Another point was my words have always been slurred, its my sort of way I just speak, I felt nervous about if my words would be too slurred, if anyone could understand that or if i got lower marks. My stillness was uncomfortable, I felt too formal but couldn’t move, my voice sounded very monotone but I was scared of laughter and judgement if I did anything to the best of my ability. In the end I sat down and silently screamed in my head for eternal guidance and help.