Over the past few months, I’ve been thinking a lot about whether what I’ve been feeling is normal, or if it’s just me being lazy or not disciplined enough. When I started my first year of high school, especially in the first term, I really wanted to do everything right and give my best in everything I was involved in. I had really high expectations for myself and for the work I was doing. I tried to take advantage of everything at once: extracurricular activities, sports, extra study sessions for chemistry and anatomy, and keeping my grades as high as possible.
But slowly, things started to fall apart. I began missing homework deadlines, feeling tired most of the time, and struggling to find the energy to keep up with everything. At some point, I stopped focusing on learning and started focusing only on getting good grades for tests, just to stay on track. Even then, the work I was producing wasn’t like it used to be. I could feel that I was capable of more, but the pressure kept building, and new tasks kept coming before I could even catch up with the old ones.
What confused me most was not knowing how to label it. Was I just being lazy? Or was I just overwhelmed by too many expectations at once? I kept comparing myself to how I used to be or to people I know that handle harder things in a way that looks a lot easier or effortless.
I’ve seen on some researches on student stress and overload suggests that feeling overwhelmed, especially in demanding academic environments, is a common experience rather than a personal and academic failure. That made me reflect more on whether I’ve been too harsh on myself or if it was just a lack of responsibility.
Kazlauskaite, V., Kaler, L. S., Li, Y., Mendenhall, T., Wick, S., & Song, S. (2025). “I Just Feel Overwhelmed” Overall Stress, Course-Related Stress, and Stress Management Among First-Generation and International Students at a Research University. Journal of First-Generation Student Success, 5(1), 53–67. https://doi.org/10.1080/26906015.2024.2342453 ( one of the researches I was talking about on the last paragraph )