When I Ever Was Jeongmin (Pw #5)

Sometimes when I think about my life, I think that I am very unlucky. Most of the things that I wanted to happen never does, and all of the unfortunate events tend to happen on a daily basis. Most of the time I would get sick at the wrong times, such as the first day of school or before a long trip back home. I would get the worst grades and reports for the tests I studied the most, and I would get the best for the ones I didn’t even care about. I would get the worst headaches before the final exams, and I would be in my best mood on a useless weekend.

I don’t know why luck exists; other people look like they are having the best moment of their lives when my life has never been positive, and Other people look like they don’t have any problems in their lives when mine is full of them 24/7. I tend to compare myself with other people around me. When I talk to them and try to understand how their lives were, I always fail to do so. I am always jealous of how some people can stay happy and excited for most of their lives, if not the entirety of it.

My last memory of freedom was when I was a small child; when I didn’t have all the drama to deal with and the responsibility to take care of. I didn’t have a lot of homework and tasks to do like I do now, and I didn’t have to create multiple versions of myself to keep myself functioning. I always wish I could go back to when I was a baby so that I won’t make the same mistakes I made today. I wish I could be doing all of the things I wanted so that I won’t be dwelling around them.

I am very thankful to the people around me. From my family who provides me with a good environment and care – to my friends who provide me with joy in life when living in a foreign place that I have never lived in before. Being away from home and culture is not an easy thing to do, and so is skipping a grade and being younger than everyone else. However, these people help me get through these without any problems and if it weren’t for them, I would have been struggling with unanswered questions and curiosity about life.

I wish a very happy new year to everyone!