There’s this girl I know. With bright eyes often masked by glasses. And hair that I love but she hates. She has a laugh so happy, that it’s painful when she’s upset. But it isn’t very often that she appears upset, because she shields those emotions. For those who don’t know her, she seems happy. Maybe even loud, or impulsive. I think that’s because her presence fills up a room, and her confidence radiates, intimidating people. Also, because she doesn’t want people to really know what’s going on inside. To shield others from her pain, or maybe to shield herself.
She wears her hair up, her pants rolled up, and her face natural. When I ask her how she’s doing, she always replies with, “I’m good, how are you?”. It’s so instinctive, I bet she would say it if she had tears running down her face. She’s not scared to say what she’s thinking. And yet, I feel like she hides so much.
I think she underestimates not only her abilities, but her character. I wish she could see herself in my eyes, because I see her as a person I would aspire to be like. She has flaws, but so does everyone. I won’t describe her as perfect, because I don’t believe anyone deserves that title; it’s too much pressure, too much to live up to. She’s social, funny, and loved. But what’s underneath is still somewhat of a puzzle.
Sometimes when I’m around her, I’m blown away by the comments she makes. They’re insightful, and intelligent, and I notice them even when she doesn’t think anyone’s taking her seriously. I know that she does the same for me, because she’ll laugh at the jokes that nobody else picks up on. I feel heard, and I hope she feels the same around me. I hope she knows that whenever she talks, I listen, and I hear her.
But it’s hard. And life can be hard. And you don’t always want to talk about things. And you don’t always want to be heard. Sometimes. . . you just want to know that someone’s there in case you need it. So, this is just a reminder that, well, there is.