PW – April 21 – Overthinking

If you don’t overthink situations, you’re lucky. Here’s why. 

I was in the middle of getting dressed, when I remembered it. A moment that happened months ago, that still makes my entire body recoil. I squeezed my eyes shut, and tried to forget. I tried to think of anything else. But no matter how  hard I tried, I couldn’t get that unpleasant thought out of my head. 

I try to use distractions to keep my mind occupied, but in isolation that’s challenging. When I was younger, this occured most at night. Right as I would try to fall asleep, my mind would go haywire. Bouncing from one thought to another, whether that be negative or simply distracting. I would try to clear my mind, but as seconds turned into minutes, and minutes turned into hours, my thoughts were still racing. I developed a strategy. I would think of positive thoughts and people, and I would repeat them to myself. I would say my dogs’ names in a loop. Or recite the lyrics to my favorite song. But as I got older, my thoughts got stronger, and this technique stopped being effective. 

At times, this trait can  be beneficial. I believe it adds attention to detail in my schoolwork, because I genuinely care about how hard I try and how well I do. On top of that, I focus more on how the people around me are feeling, and I try to be considerate based on that. I think this quality makes me more attentive  and aware, which I’m thankful for. Furthermore, I often think about really positive experiences, which boosts my mood. Despite the positives, overthinking can be truly negative. I end up dwelling on a bad grade, a negative interaction, and how I appear to others (physically and personally). I tend to assume others’ opinions, even though I know that what someone thinks about me isn’t my business. I’m working on accepting that.

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