Personal Writing #4: Revenge of the Purple-Clad Warrior Monkey

Midnight at the Whining Wharf, the purple-clad warrior monkey silently waits. Lurking in the shadow cast by a large crimson shipping container festooned with the company logo of his target . . . Wilson DeVon. As he waits, the purple-clad warrior monkey reflects on the week prior.


“Mr. DeVon, a comment please!”, shouts the paparazzi.

“People are horrified to learn the fire that destroyed the Amazon rainforest was started by your company. And all to free up land to build another mansion for your personal use! A comment, please!”

“Wilson, how does it feel?”, whispers one rather hairy looking man clad in a big purple sun hat.

“How does what feel?”, responds Wilson.

“To be the person who almost caused the extinction of the Rainbow-Clad Monkey?”

“No comment”

“Mr. DeVon will take no more questions and is leaving the building”, interrupts Wilson’s chief bodyguard.

Wilson is briskly escorted out and straight into a waiting limousine. Little does he know, this was only his first of several encounters with the purple-clad warrior monkey.

Wednesday, the second encounter…

Wilson DeVon is at his summer home, in a warm bubbly bath. The enormous tub faces the waterfront. Suddenly, a massive gull does a flyby drop on the gigantic wall to wall window. Foamy white liquid uric acid slowly dribbles down the gleaming glass and onto the perfectly manicured lawn. 

“BLOODY HELL!!! Someone go shoot that foul creature! And clean the putrid window!”

In 3 minutes, a loud gunshot signals the end of a life. To the horror of the house staff, the feathery remains of the dead mangled gull splayed out on Wilson’s welcome mat. 

Later that afternoon, when Willson interrogated his staff, the gardener admitted to seeing a hairy looking man in a purple baseball cap lurking around the grounds. The gardener said when he inquired as to who he was, the man gruffly brushed him off saying, “I’m the new security guard an’ I’m doing my first patrol so gettouta my face”.

Friday, the third encounter…

Wilson is out for a stroll, walking his two standard poodles. A hairy man in purple cashmere and a purple toque crosses the street towards him. Beelining straight for Wilson, he yawns, showing strangely pointed teeth. The man in purple bumps into Willson, startling him.

“Hey, I’m walking here!”

The man replies in a joking manner, “Oh sorry, I didn’t see you there small fry, heh”. He drops his voice,“Better watch your back, I’m coming for ya’”.


Back at the Whining Wharf, the purple-clad monkey warrior checks his watch. Wilson was scheduled to show at exactly 1 o’clock am. There was a sketchy deal to buy blood diamonds, and Wilson was the buyer. The purple-clad warrior monkey checks his watch again, half an hour to go. He decides to have a quick nap. As he drifts off to sleep he festers on why he hates Wilson. The Amazon rainforest was home to the Rainbow-Clad Monkeys. They had existed since the beginning of time. They had taught humans language, how to cook food, and how to build shelter. The Rainbow Monkeys got their immortality from the trees in the rainforest, so when Wilson burned it down, the monkeys all died. Except for purple. His tree was surrounded by a stream, thus he was spared. It was now the purple-clad monkey warrior mission to avenge the death of all Rainbow Monkeys and kill Wilson.

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