Wouldn’t it be cool to be Santa? To deliver all those presents and become the most popular figure in the world? That is what I thought, but soon I realized I was gravely mistaken.
One day I was sitting in a pile of leaves and admiring the neighbors lawn, when a thought popped into my head. I could be the next Santa Claus! I ran in to tell my mother right away.
“Hey mom, what would you think if I became the next Santa Claus?”
“I think that would be utterly ridiculous. Your father and I have been trying to break it to you, but you won’t listen. So listen very closely. Santa Claus is not real Charlie. But if you want to dress up in a fat suit and run around town with some wild deer, that is your choice.”
“That is the best idea ever,” I said. My mother has always been genius. So I rushed to the front porch, grabbed my boots and jacket, and ran down to the library. I was hoping to find a book that would tell me how to tame wild deer.
When I got to the library, the librarian looked at me with disgust, as I came running in loudly. Anyway, I went to the animal section and started looking for books about deer. I was unsuccessful.
On my way home, as I was crossing the road, I saw a family of deer. There were no babies. Just three females and four males.
“Hey guys.” I walked over slowly, then stopped. One of the females were coming over. I put out my hand.
“I am the new Santa Claus. I am bringing Christmas back to life.” The female kept coming closer.
“My real name is Charlie. But you can call me Santa.” The deer was right on my fingertips. I gave it a soft brush with my hand. It seemed to enjoy it. When I started stroking her back, that was when chaos started.
The nearest male deer rammed into me, and slammed me to the ground. I guess I was touching its wife. Then the other three males started ramming into me as well. How many husbands did this deer have!?
I was jostled in the air and slammed to the ground over and over again. It sort of felt like I was flying, but I was getting hurt. These deer were not going to work for my plan. Finally, they stopped and left me there lying on the ground.
When I got home, I was bruised all over. It was worth the shot. I told my Mother, but she was not pleased.
“I was trying to tame the deer.” It was hard to stay calm, because I wasn’t able to get my point across.
“Never, ever do that again!!!!” She was furious.
“Go to bed!!!”
And that was the end of the evening.
When I woke up the next morning, Dad had found out about the news. He did not say anything, but he gave me a look that told me I made a bonehead move.
The one thing I lacked that Santa did have was facial hair, and tons of weight. I planned on stuffing pillows under a costume, and wearing a fake beard. I also needed a sled. But I knew what I was going to use. In grade 5, I made a sled that wrapped around my waist, and had two holes in the bottom for my legs. All I would need to do is make some reindeer out of cardboard and attach them to my sled.
On Christmas Eve, I got into my costume and stuffed tons of my old toys and clothes in the huge compartment in the back of my sled. Luckily for me, Mom and Dad went out for dinner with some friends, and I wouldn’t have to bear the burden of them catching me and holding me back.
At six o’clock, I headed out of the house, and headed to Central park. I decided to take the forest path, so I wouldn’t be seen until the right time. As I was walking, I heard something behind me. I turned around and found a bear staring right at me. I started running as fast as I could. It was hard to run, with the bulking sled around me. I kept looking back, then to my surprise found that it was not chasing me. Then I looked forwards, to find three wolves with leashes, but no owners. They gave me a menacing look. I recognized them right away. They were from the zoo. Just as I was starting to run, the wolves chased after me, and got me tangled in the leashes. I was stuck in midair, while they were running towards the busy part of the city. They swerved, and avoided cars. The drivers were extremely angry. People were staring at me as if I was the craziest person in the world. As I was noticing this, I saw that I was being dragged past the restaurant my parents were dining in. Obviously they saw me. They looked very angry and shocked.
The wolves were running faster than ever. Finally, I was untangled and sent flying into the air. I landed on top a lime green Lamborghini. The owner was sitting there in front of the car, and from the look on his face, I knew it was not going to be a happy holiday this year….